iGo to the Moon
by razorbeamz
Summary: The iCarly crew gets a trip to the moon with world famous teen astronaut Chad Anderson. But will they ever return? Humor and parody. Eventual drama, horror, and suspense.
1. Chapter 1

"And now, Gibby will immerse himself in a giant tub of peanut butter!" Carly exclaimed, as she pulled back a curtain to reveal a large vat labeled "INDUSTRIAL GRADE PEANUT BUTTER."

Sam pitched in, rhetorically asking "Where do we get the peanut butter? It's a mystery. We didn't ask, and our peanut butter guy doesn't tell."

Gibby promptly removed his shirt, looked directly at the camera, and gave it a seductive wink. "This one's for you, ladies," he said with a sultry voice and climbed into the creamy substance.

"I wish this was a vat of bacon grease." Sam said, seemingly out of the blue.

"Why's that?" Carly asked.

"'Cause Momma's HUNGRY!" Sam exclaimed.

Carly just rolled her eyes.

"Like that's anything new," Freddie retorted.

"Can it, Fredward!" Sam shouted back.

"Well, that's all the time we have today for iCarly! Don't talk to strangers!" said Carly.

"Don't forget to brush your feet!" added Sam.

"And don't forget to give your robot a weekly eye exam!" Carly finished.

"And we're clear!" Freddie shouted as he turned off the camera.

Everyone shouted excitedly for no real reason.

**[CUE THEME SONG!]**

The iCarly crew went downstairs to have a well-deserved snack.

"I can't shake the feeling we're forgetting about something." Sam said while eating a sandwich composed of all of the meat in Carly's fridge.

Suddenly, Gibby came running down the stairs dripping in peanut butter.

"You guys left me in that vat for FOUR HOURS!" he screamed.

"Sorry Gib!" Freddie apologized.

"I would be so mad at you right now if my skin wasn't so smooth!" Gibby said as he rubbed himself all over

Freddie, Carly, and Sam gave each other a disgusted look.

Suddenly, Spencer burst through the door. "Guys! You'll never believe it! On Second Avenue a peanut butter truck crashed into a body lotion truck! Peanut butter and lotion spilling out all over the street!"

Gibby's eyes lit up and he exclaimed "All right! Just what I need!" as he dashed out the door.

"Okay then." said Spencer, looking just as confused as the rest of the bunch. Suddenly, Spencer's phone started to ring. He reached into his pocket and pulled out his PearPhone.

Meanwhile, Carly was surfing the web as Freddie and Sam were in the kitchen arguing about something banal.

"Hey guys, check this out!" Carly said, calling the other two over to check out the news article she found. "Chad Anderson, the first teenager in space, is planning a moon mission scheduled to launch next month! Hey, he's kinda cute!"

"Wow! Momma like!" Sam said, with a cat noise.

"I don't see what the big deal is," Freddie said. "There have been like, six moon missions. Do we really need another?"

Carly and Sam gave him a look. You know the one.

"Guys! I just got off the phone with my buddy Socko!" Spencer excitedly interrupted.

"Well, what did he say?" Carly asked.

"His cousin Luna got us four tickets to go to the moon with Teen Astronaut Chad Anderson next month!" Spencer shouted, jumping up and down with excitement.

Carly and Sam's eyes lit up and they immediately joined in. Freddie was not quite as excited, but was excited nonetheless.

"I'll bring my camera! We'll be the first webcast from the moon!" he said, thrilled to be going to the moon, but not thrilled to be spending it with Chad.

Suddenly there was a knock on the door. Gibby stepped in covered in what looked to be body lotion and peanut butter, but on closer inspection turned out to be school glue and manure. The unbearable smell was reflected on every face in the room. "Why would you lie to me like that?" Gibby asked Spencer with a look similar to that of a sad puppy.


	2. Chapter 2

The next day, Carly, Sam, Freddie, and Spencer got an email from Chad Anderson to meet him at The Groovy Smoothie to have a pre-briefing chat and discuss some mission details. They arrived early, so they went to the counter, got some smoothies, and sat at their usual table.

"I probably shouldn't have gotten a large!" Carly said with an awkward laugh, clutching a comically oversized smoothie cup.

"Well be glad you didn't get the small!" said Spencer, with one the size of a thimble.

They were soon interrupted by T-Bo, who was carrying yet another of his "creations".

"Yo, T-Bo! What's up?" Freddie asked.

"You wanna buy a birthday cake on a stick?" he asked the group.

"It's not any of our birthdays!" Freddie retorted.

"There's only three hundred and sixty-five days in a year. Three hundred sixty-six if you count leap years. It's gotta be SOMEONE'S birthday!" T-Bo said, incredibly offended.

"It's my birthday if it means you'll leave us alone," Sam said.

"Twenty-five bucks" T-Bo said.

"Twenty," Sam haggled.

"Deal."

Sam looked at the cake on a stick like she hadn't eaten a cake in years and said, "Oh yeah, come to Momma!"

Just then, Chad walked through the door. The studio audience let out a collective "Woo!"

"Hi Chad!" said Carly and Sam awkwardly in unison.

"It's your birthday?" Chad asked, noticing Sam's cake on a stick.

"It's not. I just like cake," Sam said between bites giggling nervously. Suddenly, she had a spit take. "T-Bo! This cake is stale!" she yelled, disgusted.

"What do you expect? I've been trying to sell it all week!" he responded, as if Sam should have already known that.

Chad bought a normal sized smoothie that was neither the comically oversized large nor the pitifully undersized small smoothie and sat down to begin the mission briefing.

"Weather permitting, we will launch in exactly one month. I'll email you the directions to the launch pad," he said with a tone of professionalism with a tinge of snobbiness.

"Don't we need to go through astronaut training first if we're going to space?" Freddie asked.

"You got plenty of training when you three were doing that web show a while back from the space training center, no?" Chad pointed out.

"Yeah, but Spencer wasn't there," Freddie pointed out.

"He'll be fine," Chad said. "I didn't have any training on my first time up."

"I was wondering, " Spencer asked, "how did someone as young as you become an astronaut in the first place? Doesn't NASA have some sort of age limit?"

"Oh, I don't go up with NASA. I travel with my father's private company SpaceCorp," Chad explained. "Privately funded space travel is the wave of the future. We have a small launch pad just outside of Sea-Tac International. That's where we'll be launching from."

"SpaceCorp? Isn't that the company that had that crash a few years back?" Freddie asked.

"Well yes, and no," Chad told Freddie, "We're under new management after that incident and everyone involved in it was fired. That's how my father became CEO, in fact. I assure you that the new SpaceCorp puts safety at the top of its priority list."

Freddie, still a bit worried, put most of his fears at ease.

Suddenly, a chimpanzee came running through The Groovy Smoothie and hid in the kitchen.

Everyone gave each other confused looks.

"What was that all about?" asked Carly.

"I don't know, but something tells me he's not here for a birthday cake on a stick!" said Sam.


	3. Chapter 3

"And, as a final note, we get to go to the moon in almost one month!" Carly said excitedly as she concluded iCarly.

"And we'll broadcast the very first webcast from the moon, along with our good friend Teen Astronaut Chad Anderson!" Sam said, as she pushed the applause button on her remote.

Chad Anderson stepped out on stage, wearing a spacesuit. He removed his helmet and smiled at the camera. Freddie sighed a sigh of disgust.

"I'd just like to say one thing," Chad said.

"Sure, go ahead," said Sam.

"I'd like to thank the men and women of my father's company SpaceCorp for making this all possible. Now let's have a dance party!"

Sam pressed the dance party button on her remote. Suddenly the lights went dim and colored party lights blinked and flashed, while loud music played. Gibby appeared out of seemingly nowhere, removed his shirt, and began to dance.

When the dancing finally ended, Carly and Sam signed off.

"I'm Carly!"

"And I'm Sam!"

"Be sure to eat five servings of fruits and vegetables daily!" Carly said.

"Don't eat chewing gum off the street!" said Sam.

"And don't forget to wax your hippo!" said Carly.

The iCarly crew and Chad went downstairs for a snack.

Suddenly, Freddie's mom burst through the door. "Fredward!" she exclaimed.

"How'd you get in here?" Sam asked, "the door is locked!"

She said nothing as she hid some lockpicking tools behind her back.

"What's wrong, Mom?" Freddie asked.

"There is no way you are going to the moon! You could catch a cold!" she said, with a tone of concerned anger.

"Ms. Benson, there's no way he could catch a cold. There's no air on the moon," Chad clarified.

"So now you're telling me that not only is my baby going to catch a cold, he's not going to be able to breathe! He is definitely not going now!" she said.

"Ms. Benson, stop being such a nub!" Sam said.

Ms. Benson grabbed at her heart and stared at Sam appalled. "The nerve!"

Sam dismissed her with a wave of her hand and said, "Get over it. I've heard worse from my mom."

Carly stepped in, and said "She's right, you know. Even I've heard worse from her mom."

Angry and defeated, she stormed out, turned around, slammed the door, and returned to her apartment.

Gibby suddenly looked to Carly. "You got any toothpaste?" he asked.

"Yeah, but why?" Carly asked.

"Well maybe I like to feel minty fresh!" Gibby responded, offended.


End file.
